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Living the Life of Holly
By Holly Winter
Feel This

Muriel’s pants were pushed down around the bump and her shirt was pulled up as if she were giving her growing roundness room to breathe. The irony of exposing her bare stomach to her friends, when she had spent most of her life spending enormous energy hiding her body, was lost to her.

She didn’t notice that the men in the room were embarrassed to see her round stomach stretching beyond the limits of her clothes. She joined conversations without moving from her spot on the couch. It was most comfortable to stay put.

She rubbed her belly softly, as if that would make the feeling that she had grossly overeaten go away. “I feel like I’ve eaten the whole turkey. I mean. All the meat in one sitting.” She said, again.

She felt movement and automatically reached for the closest hand to experience it. The hand was mine.

“Feel this.” Muriel said.

“I love that.” I smiled with her. I had felt many movements as the baby had slowly grown over the past eight months.

She moved my hand. “Here’s his butt. This’s his foot. His head’s down.”

“Don’t they point themselves down when they want out?”

She laughed. “He’s been that way the whole time. He’s planning ahead.”

We laughed.

I was at Muriel’s baby shower. Men and women friends were invited to celebrate that Muriel would be a mommy and her husband would be a daddy in another thirty days or so.

One of the men moved closer. “HE KICKED YOU. I saw your stomach pop out. OhmyGod.”

Muriel pulled him onto the couch next to her. “Here.” She guided his hand onto her stomach. “Put your hand here. Feel this. Really. You’ll be able to feel it.”

He had never had his hand on Muriel’s stomach before. He hesitated. But. The strangeness of it all relaxed him and he let his hand be guided. He wrinkled his face in heavy concentration, then excitement. “I feel it. He’s kicking. I feel it.”

“Yes.” Muriel laughed. “That’s my kid. He’s a mover and a shaker alright.”

“Doesn’t it hurt? It must hurt. He’s kicking you constantly.”

“No.” She said. “It doesn’t hurt. Sometimes he gets going really fast like when he’s hungry. And every now and then he’ll get in a good punch. But. It doesn’t hurt.”

His face was totally screwed up. He had no children of his own and had never been around anyone who was growing a baby. “How does he FIT in there?”

Muriel laughed. “His butt’s here. His feet are here. His head’s there.”

He moved his hands around her stomach, surveying the space. “I don’t get it.”

“Me neither.” Muriel laughed. “Nobody does. That’s what miracles are all about.”

The other men began circling, nonchalantly. I stood to make room. They sat around her and placed their hands on her stomach. They were politely quiet for a few minutes while they rephrased their questions in their heads. Would she be insulted if THAT were asked?

“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

“We don’t want to know.”

“I hope it’s a boy.” One man laughed. “So. One day you have to read the riot act to some tall sixteen year old boy. That I wanna see.”

Muriel giggled. “Oh. Great. That’s a great vision. Thanks a lot.”

“I’ll bet it’s a boy.” Another said.

“I’m sure it’s a girl. A pretty girl like her mommy.”

“That’s a nice out-ie belly button you have there.” One questioned in a statement kind of way.

Muriel threw her head back and laughed. “I know. It used to be a very nice in-ie. We’ll have to see if it returns to the ‘in’ position after the delivery.”

“I felt that. I felt that. He kicked me. The little bugger kicked me!” One of the men cried out.

She laughed. “He’s moving around. There’s not that much room in there.”

Their hands were all over her stomach. It had to be the best stomach massage she had ever received. They were fascinated by the mechanics of it all.

“No wonder childbirth hurts.” one said as he measured the size of her belly. “He’s huge.”

“Well.” Muriel said. “Remember. Women’s bodies are meant to have babies. The more the woman relaxes, the less it hurts. I’m going to use a special form of hypnosis where I’ll be totally relaxed. I’m expecting minimal pain.”

“Hey.” A man said. “This bump has to squeeze out of you. That’s going to hurt.”

Muriel laughed. “Remember. My cervix will stretch quite a bit for delivery.”

“Are you eating enough?” Another asked. “I just realized that they’re not kidding when they say you’re eating for two. You really are eating for two. Are you eating enough?”

“Every two hours.” She nodded her head.

“But have you gained enough weight? Aren’t you supposed to get fat?”

She laughed. “I’ve gained thirty four healthy pounds so far.”

“Is that enough? You don’t look that big.”

Muriel laughed. “You’re a great mirror. Thanks! But. Really. A nice, big weight gain with pregnancy is a very good thing to do. I’ll continue to gain through the end.”

“What about water.” Someone asked. “I hear that you have to have a lot of water for both your body and the baby’s body. Are you drinking enough water?”

Muriel held up her water glass. “Got it covered.” She smiled.

“How long till you can have a glass of wine?”

“Oh.” She shrugged. “Another year or so.”

“Another YEAR?”

She laughed. “I haven’t had a drink for the whole pregnancy. And. I won’t drink any alcohol at all while I’m nursing.”

The men had plugged in to childbirth. They didn’t get it before. And now that someone they loved was experiencing the birth of a baby, they got it. They understood.

They all sat with their hands on her stomach a while longer.

“Hey. He’s not moving.”

“What happened?”

Muriel laughed. “Relax. It’s ok. It’s nap time.”

“Man. If he can sleep in there, he’ll be able to sleep anywhere. He must be all scrunched up.”

“My God.” One man said. “Baby already has a schedule. Time to punch. Time for kick boxing. Time to sleep.”

“Yeah. I’m going to buy him a baby planner for a birthing gift. So he can keep track of his schedule.” Another joked.

“He’s getting a baseball glove from me. Or she. You would let your daughter play baseball, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course.” Muriel shook her head as little tears started falling out of the corners of her eyes. “You know. I love you guys so much. And. Baby is going to have the best uncles. Baby, Daddy and I know how lucky we are.”

They hugged Muriel.

“Ok.” She said. “Thanks for the stomach massage. But. I need to take a little bathroom break.”

“Sorry.” One man teased. “You’ve already used up your bathroom privileges.”

She laughed. “Yeah. Try and stop me.” She stood up. “I’m looking forward to trading these bathroom visits for my shiny, healthy baby. Believe me. I’m ready.” She took her leave of the group.

When she was almost out of earshot, someone yelled, "See ya, mom."

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