HOME

PHOTOS &
CURRENT COLUMNS

FANS' FAVORITE FIVE

COLUMNS BY
SUBJECT

Living the Life of Holly
By Holly Winter
Mama Mediation

“Hola.” Came the greeting.

I looked up and saw her nose pressed against the second story window screen. “Hola baby!” I yelled back. “Como estas?” (Hello, baby. How are you?”)

“Bien. Esto es tu carro?” (Good. Is that your car?)

“Si. Esto es mi carro magnifico.” (Yes. This’s my magnificent car.) I turned and pointed to my car. “Te gusta mi carro?” (Do you like my car?)

I have this repeating conversation each time I return home. The two year old girl seems to be perpetually waiting to greet me. Sometimes I think I would be a better neighbor if I would return home more often so she could have more conversations. Um. No. I would never get any writing done.

“Si. Me gusta.” She said. “Tu carro es rojo, si?” (Yes. I like it. Your car is red, isn’t it?)

“Si. Mi carro es rojo. Te gusta carros rojos?” (Yes. My car is red. Do you like red cars?)

Oh. I know. I should branch away from this same conversation. Maybe I could insist that my car was purple or that it was my brother’s car to confuse her and put a bit of a twist on our talks. Um. No. I enjoy the simple approach. And. My Spanish isn’t that great anymore. I pride myself in being able to keep up a predictable conversation with a two year old Hispanic girl. Hey. It’s harder than it sounds.

“Si. Mi color favorito es rojo.” She announced. (Yes. My favorite color is red.)

See. That phrase has come in handy. The ‘my favorite color is…’ phrase. I have had to learn that phrase in every language class I have ever taken. Oh. I know. I’ve waited fourteen years to find a conversation in Spanish to use the ‘favorite color’ phrase. Why is that pushed so hard? Um. What’s the point?

When I taught high school Spanish a jillion years ago, I never made my students talk about their favorite colors. What a boring conversation. When would that ever pop up in real life? I used to have them describe their favorite public bathroom. Now. That was a real conversation they were all fighting to enter.

I also made them explain which parent was their favorite and why. Of course. Their reasons were limited by the Spanish One vocabulary. ‘My mother is my favorite because she has white teeth.’ Or. ‘My father is my favorite parent because he is tall.’ That way when they didn’t do their homework, I could blackmail them by threatening to call their least favorite parent and tattle.

Hey. That was fun. But. Talking to this little girl. Well. This was more like survival Spanish.

“Me gusta rojo tambien.” I smiled. (I like red too.)

“Esta es tu carro? El carro rojo?” (That’s your car? The red car?)

“Si. Mi carro es rojo. Mi carro no es Amarillo. Mi carro no es negro. Mi carro es rojo.” (Yes. My car’s red. My car isn’t yellow. My car isn’t black. My car is red.) I know. There is absolutely no reason to show off my knowledge of other colors to a child who doesn’t yet have a command of her colors, but I distinctly remember learning these phrases, and insist on using them.

“Si. Tu carro es rojo. Y tu carro es succio.” (Yes. Your car is red. And your car is dirty.”

I laughed. This delving into the cleanliness of my car was a new branch to our conversation. “Crees que mi carro es succio?” (You think my car’s dirty?)

“Si.” She said, matter of factly. “Tu carro es el mas succio.” (Yes. Your car is the dirtiest.)

“No. No es la verdad.” I laughed. “Mi carro es limpio!” (No. That’s not the truth. My car’s clean.)

“No. Tu carro es el mas succio del mundo.” (No. Your car is the dirtiest in the world.)

I did a quick inventory of the parking lot. Sure. My car is a far cry from clean. But the dirtiest car in the world? No. I refused to have that label. Surely my years of working with children would come in handy right about now. I mean. I could manipulate a two year old in any language, couldn’t I? I was sure that I could change her mind. “No crees que el carro Amarillo es el mas succio aqui?” (Don’t you think that the yellow car is the dirtiest car here?)

“No. Tu carro es el mas succio.” She said, wagging a finger at me. “Es el mas succio.” (No. Your car is the dirtiest. It’s the dirtiest.)

“No. No es la verdad.” I said sadly. “No es possible. (Nope. That’s not the truth. It isn’t possible.)

“SI ES LA VERDAD.” She huffed. “Es la verdad total.” (Yes. It’s the truth. It’s the total truth.”

“Adios baby.” I called with a laugh. I wasn’t going to win this fight. Best be going before I caused a real scene.

Oh. Too late. “MAMA? MAMA? EL CARRO ROJO QUE ESTA AFUERA ES EL MAS SUCCIO, SI? Mama. Mama. Es la verdad, si?” (Mom? Hey mom? That red car outside is the dirtiest, isn’t it? Mom? That’s the truth, isn’t it?)

“Adios baby!” I called again as I backed towards the front door.

I could hear a mother’s voice speaking softly through the little girl’s outbursts. Man. This girl was good. She was going to win, wasn’t she? I mean. She had gotten her MOTHER to mediate.

A high pitched voice called after me. “MUJER? MAMA DICE. TU CARRO ES EL MAS SUCCIO. MAMA DICE QUE TIENE QUE LIMPIAR A TU CARRO.” (Hey lady? Mama said. Your car is the dirtiest. Mama says that you have to wash your car.)

I resigned myself back to her side of the building. “Bueno. Tengo idea. Voy a limpiar a mi carro.” (Ok. I have an idea. I’m going to wash my car.)

“Bueno. Limpie el carro Amarillo tambien.” (Good. Go wash the yellow car too.)

Um. No to the yellow car. But. Yes. I did wash my car. (I would never go against a mother’s orders.)

There was no nose pressed against the upstairs screen window when I returned with my shiny-clean car. She wasn’t there the next day either. Or the next.

Man. Now I’m all worried. I might have to wash my car regularly. How else can I prove that I did follow through on the Mama Mediation?

Wanna try another column? How about #132 That Blasted Wind which is about a trip to Lagos, Portugal.

or Click here to go to Current Columns to pick another column. Or perhaps you would like to go to Column Finder by Subject to choose your next column about dating, or epilepsy or friends... you choose!

Don't miss out! Sign up to receive a free copy of Holly's column via e-mail each week. (All e-mail addresses are private... NEVER, EVER shared.)

Or send a blank e-mail to Holly@livingthelifeofholly.com Subject: Subscribe Me.

Comment on this column in The Forum

Or

Send Holly your comments. Tell her what you really think! Your comments might be published on her website, or in her weekly Yahoo Group e-mail. Send Comments

Wanna vote for your favorite column? Fan's favorite column picks will be added to the Fan's Favorite Five page. Send your pick for your favorite here. Fan's Favorite Column Pick

Copyright © 2004 by Holly Winter
www.livingthelifeofholly.com
All Rights Reserved